Life

Just read a piece about Belinda Emmet, an Australian actress & wife of Rove McManus. I vaguely remembered her from some old local series and of course from the tabloids. Anyway, she had lost her life to cancer about a year ago. Reading testimonies from her family and friends makes me realize that in life it’s never about the destination but always about the journey. It does not matter that she did not have the luxury of growing old like most of us will, because somehow in her short life she had made it worth living. Spread as much love to her loved ones, be happy despite all misgivings, and most of all simply love her life. Easier said than done, of course.

There are times in my life, a lot actually when I simply feel down and the nasty self pity virus creeping into my soul. Those days when you just feel that everything are blue, and your lips refuses to smile. Days when you sit on the couch, staring blankly at the TV and before you know it tears trickles down your cheek. Days when not even storewide sale perks up your desire to burn money you don’t have. Days when chocolate fudge ben n jerry’s does not tempt your taste buds at all, though it’s good for your waistline it’s not good for your moral really. Yeah, I’ve had those days more often that I should be actually.

Reading that piece about Belinda reminds me of how much life has to offer really. If just I can shake off those negativity dust whose life purpose seems to be making me miserable. When I was a child whenever I felt upset I will hide in my closet. I will sit inside the dark closet among the hanging clothes, shutting the world out. At times I can stay there for hours and fall asleep curled up with clothes strewn all over me. Always my nanny will pick me out and lay me on my bed. I would wake up the next day in my bed and not a word ever being said, she would just let me be. Even during bleak time somehow there will be someone something that will remind me of how lucky I was.

Please Baby Don't- Sergio Mendez, John Legend

Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me

I've been cruisin down this road for a while now,
I should tell the truth...
Girl you've been so good to me but I know
I'm no good for you
You should run while you can
Find yourself a better man
'Cause I'm known for brief romance
And breakin hearts across the land

Yes I've been known to have a few temptations
Out there on the road
And let's say hypothetically I've slipped and
Took a couple home
Girl I know that's not fair
You need someone who'll be there
So just get away before it's too late
and you're pain is too much to bear

......

Now on second thought maybe we'll give
This love another try'
Cause I can't see you with no one else
I'm selfish I can't lie
So let's go, let's go slow
You know all you need to know
It could end one day but
Let's just say we'll see how far it goes

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Am listening to this song now and i must say i like it a lot. Was telling my friend about this song and she said this is how bastards gets the nice girls... he he he

Time is Running Out - Muse

think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created
you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me
bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedombound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted
now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation
you will squeeze the life out of me
bury itI won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?ooooohh
you will suck the life out of me
bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

Dawn

As she held her gaze steady looking right through the fog. She knew then, she knew. It will not be too long anymore. Soon the sun will rise and her waiting will be over.

She wraps her hands around her chest, fighting away the chill pre dawn air. Her mind wanders like it always do. Her breathing quiet and regulated. Her busom going up and down. And her minds wanders even more.

Outside the sky is dark. Below on the street the milk cart rattled delivering white bottles of cow's goodness. Murky oil lamps shimmers among the fog. Policeman doing his rounds and fighting of cold with a flask of cognac.

She turns her head from the window. Her bed neat and untouched. Starched sheets and quilted patchwork free of wrinkles. Withering roses of yesterday yellowing in painted white vase. She summon her mind back from wandering. Always the wanderer her mind is.

Golden rays starts to shine out far away in the east. Lights begin to shine out from windows across the street. Crystal morning dew necklace forming on the spider web just below the railing. Oh so pretty she thoughts.

Another night. Another dawn. Another day. A sleepless night has passed. A sleepless night without her beloved.

Happy Birthday

Last Wednesday was my mum’s birthday. I asked B to help me buy some orchids for her and send it to her place. My ever so helpful B had initiatively pulled out poem which I have now idea where and attached it to the orchids…
Superbly corny & cheesy, and both B & I did have a good laugh at it but then somehow the more we laugh about it the more I realize that I do meant most of it, if just I can put it in a less cheesy way… sigh
Mom, you're a wonderful mother,

So gentle, yet so strong.

The many ways you show you care

Always make me feel I belong.

You're patient when I'm foolish;

You give guidance when I ask;

It seems you can do most anything;

You're the master of every task.

You're a dependable source of comfort;

You're my cushion when I fall.

You help in times of trouble;

You support me whenever I call.

I love you more than I can express;

You have my total respect.

If I had my choice of mothers,

You'd be the one I'd select!

Happy Birthday Mom..


Love,
Monika