Calls II

This is the second part of my story, which I took off but I’ve just reposted again. So following my message, a couple of missed calls and one liner emails, I decided to answer his call at the end of week. He said he’s very sorry and all, that work was simply overwhelming and he should try harder. In a nutshell of course then I forgave him and decide that I should just forget about everything that had happen and cut him some slack. The following week things are better though not really up to what I needed it to be. There were more calls and more emails, and he came home for weekend. The weekend was blissful and I thought that it was all worthed. We had a long talk and decide that we will make it work, that he’ll try harder to give me more attention and all. And I think of myself that I’ll be more patient and just let it flow. Come Monday, well let me just tell you I spend most of my Monday night and Tuesday night fuming and hating myself. And so even though I faltered the first time round I decide that as much as I want to be selfless, kind and understanding to him, at this stage my happiness comes first. Who’s going to love me and take care of my happiness if not myself. So for once and for all I broke off with him this morning. A part of me worried whether I make the right decision, because I do like him a lot and I do enjoy spending time with him very much, but the other part of me kept telling me that those enjoyments comes with too expensive price tag. And I still believe I deserve better than sorries that keep repeating themselves.

Calls

Okay… now that I’ve finished my prolonged ‘blue’ mood its time to write about my romantic adventure or the lack of it. I guess as my chums would know ever since the ‘great break up’ I haven’t got any real relationship. Spent the time in Singapore being cynical towards anything related to relationship and having the greatest time in my life being a single gal with no burden, which of course translates to lots of shopping, dining out, booze, dancing, facials, massages, and lazy sunday in front of the TV.
Then a few months ago I met someone quite accidentally over the internet. Yes, I know what you’re thinking but hey it’s not like I planned it, and plus really these days internet has become an integrated networking means in our life. Anyway he seemed like a decent guy so we started emailing each other and all. To be bluntly honest I didn’t think much of it at that time since to me at the end of the day virtual is virtual.
So then I moved to Sydney two months ago and I hooked up with this guy for real as in flesh and blood. So we dated and along the way become sort of an item. Now looking back really it wasn’t the right time to embark on any relationship since I’ve just moved here, I was at loss, and I was lonely. But then I really did like this guy and somehow whenever I like someone my rationale always goes on a holiday.
So then, there I was in a relationship. Because I was in a situation where I myself was at loss (new place, new job, new everything within a week time) plus my rationale went on a holiday very soon I lost control of things. Instead of getting my stuff sorted out I would be crying because he didn’t call me. Or instead of going out building my new circle of friends I would be fervently waiting for a call that never happens. And instead of seeing things as it really are, I was alternating between convincing myself that all relationship needs work and convincing myself that he's not worth the pain.
So then after 2 months of a mix of great dates and sleepless nights I decide that I need to regain control and be realistic. Mind you, I did enjoy spending time with him, but then the ache inflicted from the no call no news days rather out weights it sadly. Not to mention the damage done to my sanity when I called him incessantly to no avail. I guess I’m partly to blame too, I mean why do I let myself got so bothered whether he calls me or not. Well I guess the answer to that is because despite how busy he was I wanted him to miss me as much as I missed him.
Hence a few days ago after a no news day and incessant unanswered called I left him a message in his voicemail that if he thinks that calling me is not important enough (a week and a half earlier he asked me to give him that one and a half week and he would give me more time after that, which I presume means taking 5 minutes from his busy day to call and let me know that he hasn’t forgot) and keeping a promise he made is too much hassle to him then might as well don’t ever calls me anymore. And no he didn’t try to reach me after that, I did receive one miss call and a one liner mentioning the weather and his whereabouts but nothing else. So I guess then that’s it, he’s simply not that into me (quoted from a book I read somewhere). Hence here I am now regaining control in my life, getting my life together (sorted out my banking stuff, insurance, etc which I did!!) and looking forward for what may come.
Oh oh… I almost forgot the best part, funny stories around this episode:
After being upset feeling neglected, went to the loo and let my tears streams down and sobbing for a few minutes. Wipe my tears open the door, loo and behold my boss is inside. Boy, talking about awkward moment.
Had one too many drink after work trying not to think about him, hop on to a bus home and I forgot him allrite. And I also forgot I was in a bus until I woke up from the ‘weird sound’ which turns out to be my snoring and found my face a bit damp from droll.
So anyway, yeah that’s my latest romantic adventure or misadventure written in the hope to amuse you and for your learning if you may. So for guys out there, trust me those 5 minutes calls everyday even at your busiest means a great deal. And really doing small gestures works wonder, girls these days doesn’t need a prince in shining armor to save them anymore but feeling wanted is one thing that all girls still needs.