Dream

I have a dream
Me lounging under a canopy
In an idyllic tropical garden
Water running down a stream

A tall glass of Long Island Ice tea on my side
A wonderful book on my lap
A sleeping dog on my feet
A soft light linen clothes on my body

The smell of fresh flowers
The cooling breeze
The warm sun rays
The quiet sound of peacefulness

Eeek…

I am in my tiny cubicle
Messy desk with piles of papers
Facing a computer which not even good looking
Sitting in a cramped space

A glass of too sweet generic tea on my side
A list of work to do on my lap
A box of documents on my feet
A plain straight work clothes on my body

The smell of stale coffee
The full bacteria air con breeze
The no feel rays from light fixtures
The noisy sounds of keyboards tappings…

I WANT MY DREAM

An edited version of a lovely David’s Psalm

I am not lonely. God is here
Hand on my shoulder. Wind in my ear.

The Lord is the shepherd who leads me down
To quiet pools and a soft green ground.
He feeds, restores, beholds, relieves me,
Shows me the right road, then precedes me:

I am not lonely. God is here.
Strength for my going. Song in my ear.

Yea, though I cross the valley of dying,
I do not fear. I am not crying.
Thy rod for the beast, thy staff for my leaning,
Thou art my comfort and thou my redeeming.

Oh Lord, I am not lonely now

Love Program (taken from Friendster's bull board)

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

8.25

Now is 8.25 pm…
Soon it’ll be 8:30 pm…
Then in 12 hours it’ll be 8:30 am
And I will be back in my office…

Fat chance…
Most likely I’ll still be in the bathroom
Teasing my hair so it’ll look half decent
Taming mad hair like a mad woman

Then I’ll drag my lazy ass down from my room
Start calling my mum to drive me to office
Cause I’m too lazy to walk
And too spoilt too

Then I will get myself another red mark on my punch card
And not really minding about it
Settles myself in front of my computer
Start counting the hours to lunch

Then come lunchtime,
Gleefully I will hopped down the fire case
Glad to be outside office
Smell the roses and fell the sun

Then come afternoon,
With pitiful look I’ll beg for ride home
From my good friends
Who are either too kind or too polite to refuse

Then soon it’ll be 8.25 pm again

Ma baby

Ma baby is coming home
Home to me, because she loves me
And me only
I’ve clean up my life
Because ma baby is coming home
And I cannot wait to greet her
Into my life...
Because it is she who can
Love me the way she does
Just the way I like it

Plaktonis

Bila engkau mampir di kotaku lagi
Beri aku kabar,
Biar nanti kita bisa bertemu

Belajarlah untuk mengerti
Bahwa kita tidak berjodoh
Bebaskan dirimu dari asmara tidak berbalas itu

Bolehkan aku memilih jalan hidupku
Belenggu cinta sepihak ini sudah aku pilih
Bocel di hatiku aku ikhlas

Beban kerelaanmu membuatku sedih
Bila kau mencintaiku, lupakan aku
Berilah kita perpisahan yang manis

Benarkah kau menderita atas cintaku
Bukan masalahmu bahwa aku terjerat
Berdiam aku akan mencitaimu dari jauh

Interview with the One above

G: So what have you been doin’?
Me: Err, I do a lot of things Sir. Making your gift of life worthwhile
G: Child, you do know that I am God, right?
Me: Err, ye..es.
G: Now, you do know that as a God I know things. All things..
Me: Yes, like E channel rite, sir?
G: Precisely, I’m like a mega universe E Channel. Even more than that, I ‘m a round the clock, to minuscle details observer.
Me: Okayy…
G: So, then why in the world you think you can bullshit me? Making your life worthwhile, whilst all you did idled your life away.
Me: Well, sir. I had thought that not doing anything was better than doing bad things.

Love Poem

I wish you are an ugly mongrel stranded
Unwanted, unloved, uncared
So I can take you in my arm
And want you, love you, and care for you

Weekend

A few things happened on my weekend

Firstly, like everyone must have known at this stage that the Pope died. I was actually grateful that he died, not that because I didn’t like him, but because I really believed that no one should suffer toward their death especially a good person. Moreover what’s to be regretted? The pope was a faithful servant (at least we’d like to believed so) and he had came home to his Father’s house. So really even though it was a loss for us, but it was a blessing for him.

Secondly, still in religious department something happened on my personal life, or more like I did something, and I am awfully grateful that I have my God. It is rather funny that the small things can actually relit your faith. I went to a chapel, which I used to frequent when I was younger..much younger. The last time I went there was probably when I was on my early teens, close to a decade ago. The place was exactly the same, nothing had changed over the years. And the serenity it offered was also undiminished. Then it dawns on me that even though people changed, I changed, my life changed, there’s one thing that will remain, which is God. My relation with Him may change, I may forget Him, I may love Him, I may hate Him, but His house will always offers the same serenity and peacefulness. A true ‘refugee for the sinners’.

Thirdly, on lighter note, I spent the weekend with my girlfriends with endless shopping sprees, coffees, lunches, and neverending girltalks. And I count my blessing for being able to be stupidly boisterous, and happy. An excerpt of our conversation when we were in Starcbuck Saturday night (written in indo though):

P1: Iyah, ganteng dan baik tapi maha bastard
All: Ah, maha bastard
P2: Ah, apa? Mahabarata?
All: Huahuahuahauahua…(sampe semua orang nengok)
P3: Eh jadi ntar, kalo berantem sama cowo brengsek, "*Plak* Dasar kamu mahabarata!!!" (dengan akting bak pemain sinetron).
All: Bwahhwawhwhhwhwhaahwa
So anyway, that’s my weekend and now back to reality

Kencan buta

"Tak ada satupun kata terucap diantara mereka…" Hanya duduk diam menekuri cangkir cangkir kopi mereka. Sesekali pandangannya menjelajah ruangan kedai kopi itu, ketika gelak tawa dari pengunjung lain mencuri perhatiannya. Senyum sayu akan terbentuk di bibirnya untuk sesaat, dan kembali dia akan menekuri cangkir kopinya.
Beberapa minggu yang lalu dia berkenalan dengan pria itu, lewat jasa seorang kawan. "Ran, mau aku kenalin sama temen gak?" ujar Tiar ketika mereka sedang menikmati minggu sore di Kemang. "Ganteng , Ran. Dah gitu kerjaannya bagus, orangnya baik." " Yakin lo yar? Kalo ganteng ngapain masih jomblo? Pasti elo ngasal deh" jawabnya curiga. "Gaban (*engga banget*) emang keren kok cuma picky aja kali, kalo gua gak punya Pijar, gua juga mau deh," Bela Tiar lagi. Akhirnya pada akhir percakapan sore itu dia menurut usul Tiar untuk berkenalan degan pria itu.
Selang beberapa minggu, beberapa puluh sms, dan beberapa percakapan panjang di telpon, dia dan pria itu memutuskan untuk bertemu. Hari Sabtu dipilih sebagai hari pertemuan mereka. Sore hari di kedai kopi daerah selatan Jakarta menjadi waktu yang ditentukan. Layaknya seorang gadis hendak bertemu calon pangerannya, dia menghabiskan siang hari di salon, memanjakan dan mempercantik diri. Dikenakannya atasan chiffon cantik berwarna merah muda kelabu dan jeans pucat.
Dia datang 10 menit lebih awal, memesan minum, duduk, menaruh handphone di meja, dan mulai membaca majalah yang disediakan. Tidak lama setelah cangkir kopinya diantar, handphonenya berdering menandakan kedangan pria itu. Ketika matanya bersirobok dengan mata pria itu, waktu seakan berhenti. Celoteh ceria dari penjuru kedai tidak terdengar, bahkan alunan musik jazz dari speaker pun tidak terdengar.
Dia sudah pernah bertemu dengan pria itu. Beberapa tahun yang lalu, ketika dia masih tinggal bersama adik lelakinya. Malam yang dia tidak pernah lupakan seumur hidup. Malam itu dia pulang tugas sehari lebih cepat dari waktu yang ditentukan. Sisa sisa aroma masakan menyambutnya ketika dia membuka pintu. Dia menuju ruang duduk, dan di situlah dia memergoki adiknya sedang berciuman dengan pria itu.